I awoke a little later than expected, and realized quickly that I’d turned my alarms off the day before because I’d woken up before they’d gone off – and then promptly forgot to turn them back on.
Fortunately I didn’t wake up so late that I was beyond the normal time frame I prefer to work within.
It’s getting cold in the desert, at least at night when there’s no clouds to keep the warmth from the day before against the ground. So I bundled up a little bit – the concrete of the patio is a little too cold for bare feet during this time of year. But I knelt and made my connection with the Earth with my hands, so I wasn’t fully disconnected.
After reaching out to Heimdall and opening the gates – and setting an offering outside of my ritual space for the Outdwellers (See? I told you I’d start to get into more details as things set into place) – I shared a round of hard cider with my People. Giving thanks for their time and patience and spending a little time bonding.
All my offerings were varying amounts of the hard cider. It’s something *I* can drink on an empty stomach without getting punchy, so when I mean to share in the offerings with my People I usually stick with it. (I’ll be honest, I could NOT drink an entire 12oz bottle of it on an empty stomach, but a few sips while honoring my People is doable. (I would connect with Norse gods while being a massive light weight)).
I usually use Moon of Dragon’s Blood incense from HEM when I’m doing my weekend devotionals, but today I’d went with Cinnamon which was a little distracting. It’s got a harsher and more pronounced scent to it than the other two, and those are much more calming for me. But Cinnamon kept me on task so I’ll not complain.
I admitted that I have something on the edges of my mind that’s bothering me. I can’t put a full finger on it – the medication I’m on (let’s be blunt here, I struggle with anxiety and am legit concerned about becoming a shut in, so I’m currently on two different meds – one daily, the other as needed – just to go out and brave crowds without panic attacks) seems to be affecting my drive to draw. Though I could just as well be in a natural slump that’s ill timed to the newly added assistance.
And the medications themselves, I don’t want to say dull, but lessen the sharpness of concern, so I don’t know if it’s stopping me from keying in on what’s around me. The daily regimen is still considered in the adjusting phase, so it’s been a lot of guess work on my – well – me-ness the last couple weeks.
So I requested some sign from my People – either reassurance that things were okay, or a warning if I needed to up my guard and that the medication was affecting me in ways that I’d need to be aware of. I.e. in a way that would mean talking to my doctor about alternatives, because I want to be able to leave the house without being on the edges of a panic attack, but I also want to continue drawing thank you very much.
When I cast the runes onto the mat I was taken aback by the outcome. Near to 15 runes had freed themselves from the bag, but only one was on the mat. (One even careened off the “table” and onto the floor.)
One rune. One. Out of all those that had come with it. After staring in disbelief for a few moments I thought maybe I should try again, that I might not have hit my usual relaxed groove because the cinnamon incense was so strong vs calming. Or that I was just that off that the first time wasn’t the right one.
But as I gathered up the runes that hadn’t fallen on the mat I got this sense that sometimes even complex inquiries can have a single word for their answer. So the lone rune wasn’t just acceptable, but it was all that was required.
It was also one I’d never seen before, so I wasn’t sure if it was a positive answer, or a negative one. (One day I’ll get these down pat).
After closing the ritual and coming back inside to my book, I learned the lone rune was
Laguz – the 21st rune, meaning lake, life, leek. It can mean new creativity welling up from the unconscious mind, or a need to basically go with the flow. It can also be an unconscious tapping of psychic or spiritual aid/ability. In spellwork it allows for other runes to work in the background.
I get the distinct impression that Laguz is very behind-the-scenes, whatever it is that it’s actually doing. It also feels like a positive rune to me, that there’s help or growth being provided by the rune but it’s Subtle. I don’t do subtle well >.> But it explains why things felt like they were quiet, or out on the edge, because they were, and not nessicarily because of the change in medication.
Which is itself very reassuring.